I (22F) am a uni student and I've been living with my friend (22F), let's call her X, for 3 years, along with other people too. Try and answer quickly. Overthinking is about dwelling on the problem, while problem-solving involves looking for a solution. Im constantly making up scenarios in my mind as my mind plays some trick on me telling me multiple things I cant process. He is the author of The Anxious Thoughts Workbook and The Negative Thoughts Workbook. They may also help you identify coping strategies that work for you, such as mindfulness or physical exercise. But you fear losing friends because you have attached your self worth to them and probably depend on them for few things. Im not easy but I like to think Im worth it. Overthinking often involves ruminating about the past and worrying about the future. Instead of looking at both the good and the bad, you might analyze an event only in terms of it being a total success or a total failure. Karly & Deb Found A Simple Way Of Making Long Distance Work, Caroline & Nat First Met At A House Party Over A Decade Ago, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Em I'm sick of overthinking C Kiss my lips and shut me up. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. It always leads to the worst case scenario of zero to a hundred. When Im busy Im not overthinking. 3 So I been at my new job for a 1.5yrs same as my Co worker we work 1-2 days a week and 90% we always work both or at least one shift together we got close over the year and shared private life stories etc over this time I always suggested to meet up outside of work or with our children as they're similar years she never wants to so I stopped asking. Overthinking about the possibility of cheating or other toxic situations is so easy to do. Research suggests that overthinking is associated with feelings of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Life Advancer is a blog created by Anna LeMind, B.A., and Panos Karam with the purpose to give you solutions for improving your life and becoming your best possible self. And I might be completely wrong with the conclusion Ive drawn but thats what is bothering me. 2010;21(4):484-488. doi:10.1177/0956797610363555, Rnic K, Dozois DJ, Martin RA. Or, you might sleep on it and discover that your brain solves the problem for you while youre sleeping. If overthinking is taking a toll on your well-being, consider talking to a mental health professional. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Source: Photo by Nathan Cowley from Pexels, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. By this time, their partner is probably so frustrated that they have left. Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own. Here are 10 warning signs that youre overthinking: Its easy for anyone to get caught up in overthinking. 6. Youll notice how long it takes me to make a decision because I fear making the wrong one. David Susman, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist with experience providing treatment to individuals with mental illness and substance use concerns. Instead of wondering why it happened and if you did anything to contribute to the situation, or if you should have done something differently, youll simply accept that people often dont keep their promises, and you dont need to take it personally. You could waste a lot of time thinking your life would be better if youd only taken that other job or not started a business. Overthinking is a prominent characteristic of worry, rumination, and obsessive thinking. "It helps to have a few things queued up ahead of time for this," Thomas DiBlasi, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist, tells Bustle. You arent meant for everyone, so if someone disrespects or ignores you, it isnt your fault. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. You know the type, the kind of people that when they dont receive a text message from a friend that friend has obviously had a tragic accident. Every situation in my mind always leads to the same road of something Ive done wrong and something I need to apologize for. 9. It is also purposeful. 2 Clark, D. A. I will always want to talk things out and try and fix things. Fine! Remember, overthinking relationships never did any relationship any good and it certainly wont help yours, even if you are going through a tricky patch. 2016;147:170-183. doi:10.1016/j.socscimed.2015.10.044, Michl LC, McLaughlin KA, Shepherd K, Nolen-Hoeksema S. Rumination as a mechanism linking stressful life events to symptoms of depression and anxiety: longitudinal evidence in early adolescents and adults. On the other hand, we all have negative, intrusive thoughts that are best left alone. If youre wondering whether overthinking is a problem for you, consider the following questions based on a test I developed for The Anxious Thoughts Workbook2: If you answered yes to many of these questions, its possible you have a tendency to overthink. Let yourself feel the feelsbut remember that that means you're in sensitive territory. It does not help develop any insight into the situation. We learned to group certain details into categories and assign them characteristics. Any negative, unwanted thought triggered an agonizing process of self-analysis. "Get in touch with important values, like compassion, assertiveness, and authenticity," she says. Concentrate on what is happening right now and with a positive attitude, not a negative one. Overthinking can take a toll on your mood and may make it even more difficult to make decisions in the future. Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares how you can stop dwelling in a negative mindset. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. If I could give anyone advice about being friends with an over thinker Id say explain things even if its little and it doesnt seem like much, it might mean a lot to us. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. My mind does not shut off ever. Try living in the present and concentrate on being present, not living in your head. Ever since I started practicing all I mentioned above, Ive been happier in life than ever before. If nothing else, when you find yourself inevitably overthinking, do whatever you can to notice it and understand why. Generally speaking, we confront a problem, communicate in order to solve it and then, once a compromise has been reached, we move on. ", If you feel your mind running away, stop and think about something you positive. You see, thinking about someone you like is a way of being close to them, of, quite literally, keeping them on your mind. But thats usually not the case. If you let yourself be fully in the moment with them, youll worry a lot less about what theyre thinking of you (and about everything else, for that matter). With just a little effort, you can adjust your thinking and take steps to replace overthinking with more productive self-reflection and problem-solving. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. Knowledge really is power, and understanding why your mind is running away with you can help reel it back in. Sometimes this can be a useful characteristic if our thoughts are significant, and we need to decide on the best course of action. Taiwo Alade is a writer and UX Designer. Rumination: Why Do People Obsess Over Things? To find clarity, work on improving your communication with each other, Stubbs says. All youre going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You. Yep, it's often a control thing. Click here to read more. So if you catch yourself combing through them or looking for a problem, stop. Confused by your almost or actual hubs/wifey? Acknowledge that you're overthinking. However, seeing patterns that are not present while overthinking relationships can make it hard for us to live in the real world and not one of our own makings. If you find that you are routinely putting in more effort in the friendship, or performing very imbalanced acts of love for your supposed companion, this could mean . Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. Except this one time I wanted to enroll in a writing competition. 1) It's not their fault. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. Or the person who treats their partners late nights at the office as a sign of a torrid love affair. So its harder to fall into a deep slumber when your brain is busy overthinking everything.. Well, you've already braced yourself for that. Overthinking is a prominent characteristic of worry, rumination, and obsessive thinking. You might even convince yourself that thinking about something for a really long time is the key to developing the best solution. Instead of understood, youre going to be seen. But keep correcting yourself and soon you'll be more focused on what's going on around you instead of what may or may not happen down the road. With that in mind, here are 20 effective ways to turn off the "what ifs" in your head, and instead connect with your partner. Think about any past incident you might have had relating to cheating or losing a best friend. What You Need to Do If You Feel Insecure in Relationships, How to Get Out of Your Head and Stop Overthinking Everything, Something I realized about my anxiety attacks, Someone called me ugly and my gf agreed (indirectly). The act of overthinking can be linked to psychological problems such as anxiety and depression, although its hard to know which happens first in each individual. Overthinking can create an endless cycle of stress and worry, which can ultimately cause you to feel less prepared, motivated, and confident. Do you often look for the deeper meaning or personal significance of your thoughts? And a slight change in a listeners facial expressions makes me think Im bothering themthey dislike me, Im boring, I need to stop talking. I don't know I may be overthinking this I suffer with a high functioning anxiety and I look into everything too much so wanted opinions bc as I stand I just feel like saying to my boss don't worry about looking for cover I'll work it and make up a lie that I cant get childcare (it would of been me and my partner going but he stays with the children when i work). you can do to change the channel in your brain from overthinking into a more healthy mindset. Please Help Me: What to Do When You Need Help, How to Stay Mentally Strong When You're Single on Valentine's Day, How to Stop Overthinking With Bestselling Author Jon Acuff. I don't know I may be overthinking this I suffer with a high functioning anxiety and I look into everything too much so wanted opinions bc as I stand I just feel like saying to my boss don't worry about looking for cover I'll work it and make up a lie that I cant get childcare (it would of been me and my partner going but he stays with the children when i work). Overthinkers often struggle to trust that what they see and experience is the whole truth, intimacy coach Xanet Pailet tells Bustle. If you're wondering whether you are overthinking a particular situation or concern, there are a few things you can look for. "We get ourselves very worked up by imagining what other people are doing or saying or thinking about us," she says. Or, I totally blew it. This type of overthinking involves only seeing situations in black or white. Naomi Osaka And Cordaes Body Language, Explained, Penn Badgley And Domino Kirkes Birth Charts, 50 Valentines Day Dates That Are Cute, Not Cheesy, How To Handle The Five Stages Of A Relationship, What It Means To Be In An Open Relationship, 40 Ways To Celebrate Valentine's Day In An LDR. Petric D. Emotional knots and overthinking. Then when a conversation or situation comes up that, for whatever reason, makes you uncertain of how they feel about you or your relationship, you go into "figure it out" mode as a way to have control. Here are six ways to stop overthinking everything: 1. The goal is always to take action whenever possible instead of ruminating on things that are bothering or worrying you. Youll get someone who is always honest with you and will tell you things like they are. Your mom, your sister, your best friend (obviouslyyou're the first to hear about it! What If Your Overthinking Is Actually Good for You? 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