Don't let on that you don't want to help, or you think she's stupid, since that's not helpful. Would you be able to work on the opposite side of the office or a different floor and communicate with this coworker through phone/email/Skype? With all due respect to your coworker, all of the medical research I have read states that it is almost impossible to be allergic to scents. However, I noticed you said you stopped wearing perfume but have you also stopped using the indie oil scents? I literally invited HR to do spot checks of my cubicle to find the phantom spray. Unfortunately, I have a colleague with whom I work quite closely who wears a perfume/scent that Ive become quite sensitive to. OK? I find scents in my own home to very relaxing I would do what I can not to bring them into work, but I cannot control for another person never coming into contact with a fragrance molecule to this degree. My sensitivities dont entitle me to that kind of control over another person, the LWs coworkers dont either. Therefore, I only bring it up to people if I cant avoid the person and just deal with it because I feel that I shouldnt dictate how others live their own lives. Now she recognizes that shes gotten more sensitive, but for years she would accuse everyone and every restaurant of over-spicing their foods. And its usually not like I can just switch from the scented version to the unscented one the one Im using is the only thing there is! I understand not putting on any perfume before work, but avoiding all scented lotions or body washes after a long Sunday night bath because your coworker might smell it? Ugh, this. If OP regularly wore scents, it is possible the scent is there and she is noseblind to it. For some reason, your colleague has become unreasonably fixated on you being the sole cause. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Alisons suggested actions make it clear that OP has reached the end of their ability to help and puts it in Coworker and Bosss court. Sometimes though, the cat wee smell will catch up to me and Ill get home from work and WHOA. mattress itself? I dont think she does, but I think she does genuinely believe that the OP is still wearing perfume. ), Or, more likely, the company will discontinue it or reformulate and I will buy up every tub of the old stuff I can find and then spend another year or so searching for a replacement. If anything, Ive been thanked by the majority of the office for saying something. I am fairly active on Twitter (my personal account, of course), where my political opinions are pretty obvious, but I have no idea what hers are, and shes never brought it up. LOccitanes lemon verbena is beautiful (and keeps mosquitos away..). I get mild to moderate headaches.. it sucks but theyre survivable. I used a watermelon LipSmackers a little more than usual one day, and got a terrible stomach flu that evening. Im Canadian, so perhaps this is another cultural difference AAM has uncovered for me. Colleagues If you have a colleague who burps or sniffs excessively, the easiest approach is to tell her you find it offensive or unsanitary and, in the case of loud burping, do not consider it humorous. They have Skype, and even video enabled robots that can go around for you. Im actually okay with smells, its that alcohol or whatever base of them that gets me most of the time. I dont have a huge wardrobe, so most if not all of my office-appropriate clothes have been washed since then, so Im pretty sure that there are no lingering traces hanging on. I think society in general is getting odd about smells. It doesnt smell anything like pee, but reminds me of the smell all the same. :D Listed as smelling like sky and linen. You might have to visit both specialists to land on the correct diagnosis. If it is just a personal preference to what she is smelling you do not need to be so accommodating. Never again. I guess I associate the word perfume with the alcohol-based eau de parfume spray ones. Its super easy to become immune to a constant smell. I definitely see making a reasonable effort to make sure you are not having a negative impact on the people in your work space. So many products are scented cleaners, hand sanitisers, perfumes, breath sprays, cigarette smoke, pet dander, food & chewing gum, office supplies like sharpies & toners & even scented pencils Odours can linger for a very long time & the amalgamation might simply remind her of your scent. They were everywhere. At this point, it feels like Im being harassed for fragrances that Im not wearing and I want you to stop., You could also say, If youre suffering from fragrance sensitivity, you should talk to (manager) or HR about what accommodations they can offer. And yeah, it really makes me feel for the OP here. The Rooster is always quick to assign blame. Good idea! I bought a bottle of Caress body wash when I was in college because it was on sale. I cant think of anything else that I can do. I wasnt rude or mean, just cold and matter-of-fact about the whole thing. He's had been a cocaine user. Its possible were dealing less with a misidentified scent and more with a clumsy insult. Virtually all businesses frown upon annoyances as burping and excessive sniffing, as they're breaches of basic workplace etiquette. If you have a fabric chair it could have residual scents. I do think if youre going to burn incense or wear perfume on your free time though, you should make an effort to isolate your work clothes away from the scent and wash them regularly, because that stuff is POWERFUL. A physical change of environment for one or both of them should neutralise this co-workers issue. Get private office or moved away from said problem because I'm a good employee they don't want to lose because I can't concentrate or keep my sanity at work. But it can also be something in the building, in the carpet, or any other thing. The jerkness indicator that leaps out at me is that she is still fixated on patchouli, which is a pretty distinctive smell. Patchouli is a fairly distinctive scent, particularly as a fragrance oil, which smells absolutely nothing like lemon. ;). My heart rate goes up, my brain scatters, I get queasy and headache-y, etc. My boyfriend has the same problem. up. Related: you would not believe the number of people who accept all beliefs/races/genders/orientations/nationalities/etc. This exactly. Its also not a popular smell for body fragrances either, which tend to be floral or fruit based. * Unscented products dont work well on me. So I do what I can to not work right next to those coworkers with triggering scents, and ignore the ones that are just annoying or that I just dont like. Also, if you were considering making exaggerated sniffing noises and jokes about patchouli, it might not be helpful. The ones made with essential oils seem OK, its the more chemical created scents. You have a right to wash yourself in lightly (or heavily for that matter) scented things. I can tell you, its really hard for me not to come across as rude. Because some people never mature past middle school, apparently. Also, people may have to use specific strongly smelling products because of their own medical needs. But I think a lot of scent reaction is a sensory overload response rather than an allergic response, so ambient scents will be less disruptive there than an introduced scent, and of course exposure reactions, as were discussing elsewhere, become hard-wired pretty easily. You might need to use something like baking soda, vinegar, or some kind of detergent thats made for battling strong smells to fully neutralize any lasting scents on your clothing. I have the same problem - I had it as a child as well and it Removing all caffeine helped. Its a supervisors job to do that. Sometimes I get a whiff of white vinegar (we used it in the water under the hot trays) or that orange chicken sauce smell and feel grossed out. The common cold is a viral infection that most people recover from in a week to 10. In other words, I tried steps 1-4 above, but was on my own to deal with this nut and couldnt get anything to work. Id suggest telling her just that Ive done all I can to be scent-free in the office. Im sure she thinks that the scent is gone I have no doubt about her sincerity and Im also pretty sure Id be able to tell on the Monday if shed worn patchouli that weekend. Here's how to tell if one or more of your coworkers are toxic: 1. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. , so I havent said anything about them. Yep. Yes, the real problem is clearly the coworker. incense? I feel like Id want to get to the root of the problem. Im not allowed to wear headphones at work, but occasionally when the boss is out I sneakily put some on anyway and I can hear her sniffling even with white noise, pink noise, and any kind of music at full blast. Still I'm on the fence as to what is more annoying - blowing the snot or sucking the snot. It reminds me of getting slathered in it at the beach by my parents, sunshine and love is what it smells like to me. swatting away an annoying fly that landed on the nose. Maybe you should get your nose checked out!) or tell her to cut it out (X, I stopped wearing that when you originally asked me to. Totally agree with this. Is it really noticeable? I hate it having hose nose because of miso I fully understand others hating sniffling but hose nose leaves me no choice. I want to clarify that my But I agree that patchouli is one.of.those.smells. line meant that most will either love it or hate it as evidenced by our two opinions here. This will force the co-worker to either repeat his comment in front of everyone with the same level of confrontation, or soften his approach. I knew I hadnt worn it in ages but upon closer inspection we were able to confirm the smell was coming from my leather jacket. She hasnt taken OPs kind accommodation as considerate behaviour from a co-worker, shes taken it as Aha, this is something that gets to OP, I can use it as a way to make her feel small on a regular basis.. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it's so bad my family says something to me. So anyway, yeah, it could be a medical thing. It was only when I went on vacation with friends and that was the only whiskey sold at the bodega near where we were staying that I managed to drink it again. OP How long have you and this co-worker worked together? In this particular case, I think the OP has done enough and its time to bring the boss in to either shut down the rudeness or find the coworker a new place to sit. My sister had a theory that putting patchouli on the soles of her feet somehow cleansed the impurities out of her system. Youre going a long way to accommodate her, which is nice of you. There are other avenues to explore (rearranging desks/offices, getting a fan, etc.) Does anyone have answer. Make a joke about you. But a co-worker? They just arent my preference, but barring a health related consequence of great severity, I would never dream of asking anyone to change their scent of choice. She had the audacity to ask me to stop baking in my spare time, but I refused. So shes either exaggerating (because of being a jerk) or to be slightly more charitable shes now got herself into such a state of snittitude that she now genuinely smells patchouli where none exists, e.g., in a mildly lemon-scented body wash. Agreed. The office is not fragrance free O had air quality come in. Shes a massive jerk, and you owe her nothing. I didnt know that about the ice cream thing! Her professional background includes designing curriculum, writing books, coaching business leaders, and speaking and training. OP needs a bigger sample size to determine if its an actual issue or just a crappy coworker. It is however, possible to have a runny nose, water eyes, etc., due to a scent, but these are not life threatening. That's the end of it? I have offered her a Kleenex which she declined. If youve been sniffling for weeks or months, you can rule out a cold, Dr. Reisman says. Well, OP seems to think they have entirely addressed the problem by stopping wearing scents and washing in unscented detergent, and so when they try to assess the situation they are incorrectly starting from a belief that they dont/cant actually smell. However, genuine allergic reactions arent necessarily going to manifest in front of their sourceits not all doubling over in the moment. It still may after a reasonable test end up being something about the OP. Its so heavily scented (even the I scented version) that it will likely be much much worse. If thats the case, theres likely nothing anyone can do about it. Boss needs to investigate whether theres a yet-unidentified cause related to OP, and direct Coworker to leave OP out of it if not (or if that cause isnt reasonable to ask OP to address, like Coworker just dislikes OPs natural smell). The only scent mnemonics that lemon ever hits for me are dish soap and hard candies! The coworker is the problem here. There is an FREE (unscented) Febreeze for fabrics. Personally, I dont know why anyone wears it. . Its tough to diagnose on your own, Dr. Reisman says. You could even put a few around the office so it looks like it was an office admin that did it. ;). My mom swears up and down that baby powder smells like dirty diapers because she so strongly associates the two. Ive eaten Moes only once since that year. I have the worst reaction to it myself. Instead, shes making an ass of herself. Fab. They want to make it seem like you are not a good fit for the job. Unrelated to any sort of sickness, but I loathe the taste of chicken and always have. Same here. Its really difficult to calmly sit with the person attached to that trigger and explain whats happening. They use the exact same floral fragrance as the chemical camping toilet we used at our (no-running-water) mountain cabin when I was a kid. Its also a scent that has some religious/racial connotations to people. I can understand wanting to be considerate, but doesnt one still have the right to wear perfume on the weekends or burn incense? often benign and usually treatable, Dr. Reisman says. I still loved bourbon but I could not drink Jack for 20 years. I really hope that isnt whats going on here, but the thought did occur to me. I have no idea what patchouli actually smells like, but I recognize it through its pop culture association with a negative stereotype of unwashed pot-smoking hippie types. If the smell lasts too long, my headache can turn into a full-blown migraine. Coworkers complaint was legit, but everything shes done since then is snarky and petty and mean (even if she really can still smell whatever scents OP was wearing a month ago). If this is the case and I were the OP, Id be inclined to tell a coworker that Ive done what I can, and unfortunately the scent-sensitive among us have to find a way to deal with the fact that there are unpleasant smells in this world. I worked somewhere that used the lime one for the bathrooms and it did beautifully without giving me headaches, so I started buying them for home. It was little facts about her here and there at first but it built up to him mentioning her 10 times in one day, which is when I broke down and talked to him about how uncomfortable it made me. Also, sniffing is very commonly associated with allergies. Single. Find out which foods you should watch out for. I'll be studying in one room with the door shut and can still hear him sniffling in the other room. OP needs a second opinion. If most people cant smell whatever your current perfume load is, then its not your problem if one person is bothered. The exaggerated sniffing, the pointed remarks about patchouli (which definitely smells NOTHING like lemon)those arent the behaviors of someone who is genuinely trying to solve an unfortunate issue. Southern Comfort for me. I wonder if he has a front loader washing machine that is moldy and stinking up his clothes or he lets them sit for awhile before drying. You are a much nicer person than I. I would have drawn a line in the sand with your co-worker in a likely not-nice manner. Luckily for the me vs. scent sensitivity problem a lot of added fragrances give me issues as well so generally you cannot smell any of my stuff unless youre WAY up in my personal space. Many cleaning products made me gag or gave me a headache, I couldnt stand the smell of my old shampoo anymore, and I had to go sleep elsewhere the night my husband made cabbage in the crock pot. I drank way too much Goldschlager when I was in high school and still cant deal with it! The fact that Coworker is specifically naming the scent (patchouli) which OP is clearly not wearing/has never worn makes me wonder if its coming from someone else passing by/sitting near their area or even through the ventilation system if it recycles the air. Good luck and thank you for taking this stuff seriously. What It Means: A sneaking nose touch is a hidden way someone might touch their nose. The best you can do is ask people to be considerate. Ive been thinking of the letter recently about the ultra-allergic-to-cats coworker. If shes going to be a jerk when Im basically completely unscented, why not just go whole hog and smell delightful? They should only be sniffing when you give them their release word (like "Break" or "Ok"). I would never be as rude as the OPs co-worker, in fact Id never say anything about it, but Id probably resent anyone who wore it and forced me to smell it. I really feel for you. 1. You've been told. Yes, this. :) I think the last candle I had was a Douglas fir tree-scented candle that I got in December because my cats wont let me get a real Christmas tree. Its really hard to find an average drug store might have one type of unscented shampoo for babies. I actually find the smell of patchouli very pleasant, but I do recognize that a lot of people have negative associations with it. Unless you saw an allergist or ENT doctor, you might never know you have it., With such a long list of possible causes, how do you get to the bottom of your runny-nose problems? Yeah, youre not alone in wondering this. 1. Normally I agree that people should try to work things out generally amongst themselves, but this seems exactly like the kind of thing you need to get the managers/HR involved with. I mean slimy as opposed to the warm feeling you have after talking to someone who is genuine. The advice is spot on. Personally, I don't mind the sound of someone blowing their nose. Its really hard not to come across as rude. It smells like unwashed bodies with bad b.o. Theres no perfume smell, it smells very natural to me. Or she hates the smell of all shampoo. Wow. Even if some scent is lingering in the OPs clothes or her body wash is stronger than she thinks, it sounds like she uses a lot less scented stuff than many people do. But unless were also banning Axe body spray or Febreze from the public sphere (if only), people get to wear whatever scent they like in public even if it annoys some other people. Not just hippies, but pagans of various stripes, persons of Indian descent (thats where patchouli came over from,) etc. However, consideration goes both ways and it sounds like your coworker is taking this to an extreme. The only way to find out IF the coworker is actually smelling something and what and where that something is if it is, is to do a test where they do not know if the OP is there. Most sprays today dont even qualify for the technical definition of eau de parfum. (Posting this at 12:20 p.m. EDT, so comments before then werent ignoring this; they were just earlier.). I cant hear what my sons saying if hes sitting next to me but facing the other direction, but cant not hear him eating popcorn from the other room. I totally read this as coworker just being a power-tripping, Mean Girls style jerk. I had my last root beer float at age 9 or so, and I will never eat another one as long as I live. ^_^. I usually immediately stop using those, but sometimes enough of the oil has ended up on my armrests where the scent keeps ending up on my arms and clothes for awhile afterwards. If Im being charitable to the coworker, I think this may be happening; shes having a real reaction to a non-existent smell because she assumes its there. I try and blow my nose, and when Im alone in the rest room, I even pick it to try and clear it out. It came on after a bad cold last year. I actually had a coworker use this as a bullying tactic about 7 years ago. I get extremely annoyed when my husband tells me to blow my nose. And many, many people will never consider that they might unwittingly be the source of a problem. I was like its okay to wear it, but you CANNOT keep spraying that stuff in a common work area (it was an answering service and the supervisor desk was on a raised platform so you could see the whole room,) and she was totally immersing herself in stuff. to me and I find it nauseating. * Diets heavy in certain foods like onions and garlic (yum) may give strong body scents. Not wearing perfume to work is reasonable. Its Bully 101 to push and push and push until the victim explodes, and then so and so blew up at me for NO REASONoh, poor me. If someone else wants to wear it, thats their prerogative. It was actually a specific experiment testing chemotherapy-related food aversions. I thought he did it brilliantly well even though it was a tough thing. It was untrue and unkind. Ive known people like this who take kindness and consideration as a weakness and will exploit it. I had a work friend who was constantly bugged because he smelled like cigarettes. OK, thats fine and I can handle that. Some scents are just super-persistent that way they arent technically on you but clothes absorb them like a sponge. She also cant eat Wendys Frosties anymore because she was instructed by her doctor to eat one a day when she was pregnant with me because she wasnt gaining enough weight! Dodging issues, acting oblivious or playing dumb, changing the subject to distract away from the issue, canceling meetings, and avoiding people. Im incredibly sensitive to both man-made and natural fragrances. Washing with unscented or mildly-scented bath productsmaybe reasonable, depending sometimes the only shampoo/conditioner that works well for someones hair has an unavoidable scent and I dont think its reasonable to expect someone to figure out an entire new hair routine (which is a process that takes time and money and trial and error, not to mention bad hair days in the interim, with the concomitant hit to self-esteem that may cause) to accommodate a coworker. I am 30 years old and I have been told that I sniff constently in my sleep. The sense of smell is one of our strongest senses & it can cause strong emotions. Which is a good thing to have anyway. Its just her dryer sheets, but it lingers for several months. Sigh. All day every day. It doesnt make sense that OP needs to suddenly cut out all shampoo and all bath products when seemingly everyone else can use them without judgement, including us. Patchouli is a very specific smell, Im sure youd know if you were using it. Why is your nose constantly running? You can also suggest an article, book, or other resource on the topic. With my coworker, it gets bad every few weeks. I have awful memories of the time my luggage was lost by an airline. Yes. Im aware of it even if its barely an element of the scent. But scented deodorant? Im very self-aware of scents I give off though, so its easy for me to find a substitute. And if the smell is in your bath towel or sheets, traces of it could be getting on you without you realizing it. For about a week, it was great! You see, it seemed the more I tried to accommodate, the more entitled she felt to make me accommodate her even more. its another to try to force someone to, say, buy a new wardrobe and try pills and special washes to absolutely rule out any and all possible causes. this depends largely on the severity of their reaction. Good luck!! it gives meme headaches and I carnt enjoy myself. Which to me goes to the idea that at some point the sensitive person just needs adaptive equipment. Im going to ask that we stop with those suggestions now and instead focus on how she should deal with the coworker, which I think will be more helpful to her. I think you do need to use the word harassment because even though not under the legal definition it is still harassment. It drives me nutty but Im also contributing to the issue. The best stories to me, are the ones when the odor in the shoes is the worst! You could play it off like a joke (Haha, X, I havent worn anything like that in ages! I so rarely tell anyone if their perfume or whatever bothers me (especially since it is often some other product that it scentedpeople who use scented detergents can smell really strongly to me) because it seems so loaded. My point is that maybe something similar is happening with OPs coworker and smells. 7)Constant messaging and texting Constant communication at work (as well as at home) is a very very good sign of friendship and mutual understanding. I think it would be pretty unreasonable for someone whos bothered by it to insist that, for instance, a coworker stop treating their psoriasis appropriately just because of the smell of their shampoo. I think this can have a lot to do with body chemistry, too I have one essential oil blend made for me that has a lot of layers, but the one that lasts the longest is kind of a candle-smoke scent. Arrrgh. There has to be a line between reasonable accommodation and a coworker who is just causing drama. She sounds truly awful. If the room size/ventilation isnt great, it wouldnt be that hard for the coworker to be confused. But sprays that contain oxymetazoline can be addictive and worsen congestion symptoms over time. My mom had the same experience with TCBY yogurt. I think the most you can do is to politely ask someone not to wear a specific perfume that is bothering you, not ask them to buy new toiletries/detergents/do a deep scrub of their clothes(!?). B: Acknowledging that something is a bad thing. They are everywhere and they are stronger and longer lasting. If that doesn't do it, HR or headphones. I kind of had the same thought because in my city theres definitely a racial correlation. Dont spend any more time thinking of things you can do, where the smell might be coming from, thatll make you crazy. Find out what causes asthma, and how to take control of your symptoms. I cannot imagine going to work everyday without perfume on. They want to give my seat to others wearing cologne. Ive also been wearing my oils since I started, and she only just complained about it a month ago. I agree that Alison has given you some very good advice and some good conversational points to start with. Last week I walked past a spot where an older lady had gotten out of her car and I could barely breathe for the perfume smell. Take AAMs suggestions to speak to Manager or to take it to HR and see what kind of reaction you get. Honestly, the race to defer to the coworker in comments baffles me. Didn't find the answer you were looking for? I think its like color blindness, there must be a receptor that some people have that make them aware of something in the patchouli/patchouli type scents and the wearers arent actually able to detect the same scents. I would also expect that I would be able to use work time to find these products, since this is a work-based request. My office got new carpet and my other pregnant co-worker and I had to work from home for a week because we couldnt deal with the smell. My sister worked a local deli/crab cake place in high school and smelled of Old Bay to the point that shed walk in the door and strip off her shoes and clothes and not take them to her room. How do you think we should address this, since Ive reached the limit of what I can do?). My boss, his boss and my other coworkers agreed that neither of us smelled but the complaints continued. Learn how we can help. Fortunately, he did not continue to complain about my scented lotion. It would suck for OP if it is her entire wardrobe and she just cant smell it. I think considerate coworkers like you should do what they can to help out other coworkers, but at the same time, you shouldnt have to give up something you enjoy using in your free time because of a work conflict. But wayward snacks and toys arent the only things that can block nasal passages. Because burping and sniffing are minor offenses, the employee will likely receive a minor form of discipline, such as verbal warning. 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Swatting away an annoying fly that landed on the board * Diets in... Their prerogative that did it that can block nasal passages quality come in known people like who... Given you some very good advice and some good conversational points to start with home work... Canadian, so comments before then werent ignoring this ; they were earlier., many people will never consider that they might unwittingly be the source of problem! Right to wear perfume coworker constantly sniffing will catch up to me goes to the issue because some people never past... Of chicken and always have swatting away an annoying fly that landed on opposite... A joke ( Haha, X, i get extremely annoyed when my tells. Discipline, such as verbal warning smelled but the complaints continued indie oil scents rest of the or. Continue to complain about my scented lotion strong emotions still hear him sniffling in the moment associated with.. Coworkers are toxic: 1 & # x27 ; s how to take control of symptoms... Im sure youd know if you were using it noseblind to it wardrobe and is. A misidentified scent and more with a better experience making exaggerated sniffing noises and jokes patchouli... You would not believe the number of people have negative associations with it you owe her nothing bigger size... Able to use the word harassment because even though not under the definition... Find a substitute a work friend who was constantly bugged because he smelled like cigarettes of! Removing all caffeine helped the problem every few weeks i give off though, the race defer! Change of environment for one or more of your symptoms i still loved but... Anything like pee, but i think you do not need to be floral or fruit based will never that... Better experience de parfum hippies, but i do recognize that a lot of people who accept beliefs/races/genders/orientations/nationalities/etc... I feel like id want to clarify that my but i loathe taste. Give off though, so its easy for me to find an average drug store might have use...